I can't believe Joel is 7 months old! It takes me back to this time last year being back at work and wishing the weeks and months by; dragging myself into work and living up to the high performer label I had been given over the years and petrified that I would fail to deliver and tarnish the reputation I had worked so hard to build over my 16 years of loyal service to my employer. 

We had heading off to Lanzarote for a short break. In fact, back to the same hotel we had been at the year before when pregnant with you, Lucas. Some might have thought that a bit weird but go h back to places visited with you brings an element of comfort and revives memories, of which we have but few. It helps us to build on those memories as we reminisce and create new ones with your little brother Joel.

It hurts knowing that we would have been a family of 4 but then reality strikes and would you have to question whether that really would have been so.