This day last year we played our last little game together - you were unsettled, attempting to cry but with difficultly due to the effects of the Tumour. I wanted to let you know I was there for you as we wasn't sure how much you could see or hear so Mummy pretended to eat your hands and kiss them all the way up your arms. You settled instantly, and every time I would stop you would let out a whimper. It was clear that you enjoyed our little game, and I was happy to play it foras long as you needed me to. 

I wrote in a little book that evening about our game and how you were doing, I never wrote in it again as the days that followed were to be the saddest of my life and I became a broken person, lost without thought to even think about that little book. I have read that last entry since but it's difficult to read as it takes me back to that last interaction we had together, and I cry. That was the last moment that I truely knew you were there still with us. You were so helpless and I felt completely useless as there was absolutely nothing I could do for you. The only thing I could do, was love you. 

However difficult and painful these memories are to remember, I will forever hold on to them as they are precious because they enclose you.

I will forever miss you little man.

Lots of love.
Mummy
Xxx