So today was Mother's Day. I hadn't thought too much about how I might feel, maybe I was subconsciously not thinking about it as it would after all act as a reminder that our time together has ended. 

Me and Daddy came to visit you today and attended a rememberance service at Chiltern. It was well attended and you just knew that everyone in that room, and those roaming through the beautiful forest clutching flowers was missing someone dear to them.

We were not the only ones spending today thinking of our baby, 2 other mothers quieting stood, head bowed low at the foot a grave. We could only but assume it was the grave of their baby and suddenly you felt empathy and saddess for them as you knew exactly how they are feeling. Heart left broken, unrepairable from the loss. 

Daddy got me a beautiful card with a baby elephant on the front with the title 'Mummy'. I knew the words were written with such thought that it tears streamed from my eyes and before long I could barely see the daffodils laid on your grave. 

Daddy also got me a very special present from you - VIP tickets to see Adele in concert! I know that he would have moved the earth to get me those tickets as 'Hello' has a very sentimental meaning as I would sing it to you whilst we danced together in the living room. I would sing it over and over as my eyes began to swell from the tears and my grip around you intensifying from knowing that I was going to lose you. We played that song at your memorial service because of its significance. 

I received so many messages from friends to say they were thinking of us today, which was lovely. I really didn't expect so many messages. There are some truly wonderful people in the world. 

The day has now come to an end and it is but another milestone. There are still plenty to come and this journey will no way be a short one nor easy but I thing can be harder than losing you.

Lots of love my dear baba Lucas.
Love you forever.
Mummy xxx