It's been a long time since I wrote in this journal; largely due to finding the time with the Charity Ball and your little brother keeping me excessfully busy. All of which I really haven't minded as it's all for a great cause and I get so much personal satisfaction knowing I am spending my days busy for my boys.

We launched the Little Miracles Charity Ball on your anniversary and it was finally delivered on 11 March. Carley, Juliette, Helen, Nikki, Emma and Sharon worked so hard, investing much energy and enthusiasm so it was always going to be a success. A success it was!! It raised an incredible £20k once we have final payments in. I feel so so proud of the girls and you for successfully raising so much money. I feel thankful to those that donated items to the raffle and auctions and everyone that supported the event in one form or another. 

Your little brother is growing up fast. The older he gets the more and more he looks like you. Joel is a huge delight. He has filled our lives with so much love and happiness. He is such a smiler and full of vast amounts of energy - he is keeping mummy very busy everyday! We dance and sing LOTS and ensure our days are packed with fun and giggles. 

I have found myself talking about you lots these last
few months, much of which has been in baby groups when I get asked if Joel is my first. I then explain about you. People are very sympathetic and comment how strong I am, but that is only because I have harden up having experience the worst thing imaginable and knowing what you have achieved.

I think about you everyday and miss you dearly. I still find it hard thinking about your sufferering and what you went through,  It breaks our hearts knowing that Joel will never meet his older brother but it's thanks to you that he is here, and for that we are extremely forever grateful.

Sending lots of love up there my little angel.
Mummy xxx